PISS: SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED. Agent Double-0 Number 1, this mission is of the utmost importance. We have reason to believe that Uric Goldshower's glamorous Brooklyn hideaway, known as "Pickles Playground," also serves as the headquarters of an organization called F.A.U.C.E.T.—responsible for promoting sexual anarchy around the world. We need you to go undercover as one of them: a horny, nasty piss pig. You can wear whatever you like—a Savile Row dinner jacket with black tie, a skimpy pair of trunks, or nothing at all—as you lounge on deck, admiring the bathing beauties at the inflatable pools. I'm also told that their wine cellar offers a selection of water, soft drinks, and an excellent vintage of cheap domestic beer, all free of charge. But once you've established your cover, we need you to sneak through their newly renovated sex maze and let us know what you find there. Be warned: you may see things that will shock you. And be advised that if you are caught, you may suffer a fate worse than death—soaked head to toe by one of the evil Goldshower's piggy minions! The man at the front desk will give you a free coat check. He's one of ours, so you can trust him with your electronic devices, and be sure to tip generously. You'll also be issued a state-of-the-art towel that doubles as a cumrag. And remember, if there's a drop of piss hanging off the tip of your dick, it should be shaken—not stirred.